I'm getting out of here. I'm ending my own suffering, come hell or high water. I'm going to protect myself.

Thank you for your comment.

I feel worse and worse living here every single day. I'm reaching the end of my rope. It's time. The only thing I'm really waiting on is my boyfriend, he's...a bit resistant to the idea of moving out of his parents' house for a variety of reasons. But moving to this other place, I think, would be mutually beneficial to us both and even could further his life plan. It's just hard to get him to move in any particular direction and I feel bad for pushing, but he says it's what he wants too. We've been together for a few years, it's more than time for this step to happen. And I'm more than tired of waiting to get out of this house--I'd only really consider moving out of town as I am going NC, live in a pitifully small town and the chances are high I could see my dad "in the wild" on a weekly basis anyway.

He's also RBN but he's been away from his N for a long time after his parents got divorced. I don't think he understands my urgency or my struggle on a personal level anymore. It's...hard. But if he won't go with me, it's unfortunate, but I've just kind of decided today I'll be leaving this place regardless of what he wants to do. Maybe we'll even stay together and go long distance for a bit until he gets his crap together. It's only an hour or two away.

Luckily the good half of my parentage (my mom) equipped me with a lot of knowledge. I can do my own taxes, I know the value of hard work and how to work with a budget, and I manage pretty much all of my own affairs already, pay my own insurance, etc. And funny enough--my mother is the one who informed me what my dad's "deal" was when I was 16 or 17 and I did more research on my own. She's 100% supportive of my cutting off contact with him so she may be able to reign him in a little after I'm gone. We'll see though. I know my clueless brother might fight me on it.

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