Well ...
Of course Clinton says she's against the TPP and Keystone ... now. She's a political kite who goes where the wind blows her. But if past history of American politicians is any indication, the only way you can really tell what a politician is going to do is what they have done - not what they say they are going to do. Sanders' record is pretty clear and consistent enough to suggest OCD - check it out!
And like more Americans than you realize, 20 years ago I liked Hillary, too, but then I paid more attention. She's certainly not the worst of the lot, but she's pretty representative of the lot.
As for the tax issue, you should probably read up on what Sanders is proposing and then get back to us when you know something about it.
And you admit to being out of touch with the American people, yet somehow in touch enough to know that Hillary is in touch. On this particular paradox you need an editor.
And the sexism thing. Yeah. You should maybe consult some of the American feminists that you are out of touch with before you say much more about that. I don't think they really give a damn about pantsuits or their cleavage.
Yes, Clinton DID get the top foreign policy position in the land (as an act of political triangulation). Maybe you should ask the rest of the world how that turned out (especially Libyans) before you consider that to be a bragging right.
I have also noticed that Sanders seems to want to talk about the economy more than he wants to talk about international affairs, and as a person out of touch with Americans I can understand how you might NOT understand that that is probably the main concern of the 99% of us who feel the economic ground slipping from under our feet.
And you are so right - Clinton was the senator of a state of twenty million people, and she had the backs of every single one of them who worked on Wall Street. Sanders isn't the Senator from a large state, but then Sanders didn't start on the national stage by marriage and then go where it would seem most favorable to a national career - he started at the local level and worked his way up and BTW has had (I believe) 206 pieces of legislation passed in his Congressional career (which would seem to indicate a certain flair for 'getting things done'). I know that in Britain (I'm assuming, insofar as you're writing for the Guardian) you have a tendency to have political power passed down through families as a birthright, but in America (around 1776 or so) we decided that we prefer to do it on merit (though the last few elections but the last two might indicate otherwise).
In conclusion, it's apparent that you've been overcome by some strange form of hero worship, and that's always something us older folks like to see in the younger generation (but really - how about Taylor Swift? She seems to have her act together in an impressive way). But we do worry about how, sometimes, in your rush to bestow your admiration you do so thoughtlessly.