I keep reading all of the things that people are posting and I hate that everyone can feel like this. It's so latd/early and I hate that other people have to feel like this too. I wish I could do anything but get drunk and hope that makes me feel anything. I hate that I started my day by getting drunk even though I had schoolwork and stuff. I cant even imagine wanting to do it like I was supposed to. Everything is going to fall apart I know it will. My relationship and my grades and my friends and any future is going to be gone because of my actions and I'm never going to be able to change them because I'm stupid and ugly and a tranny and I should just kill myself if I'k never going to be happy anyway. No matter how hard I try, I just cant feel the way I want to.