It sounds like you have been very frustrated by your hair and have gotten yourself worked up into a dark place over it -- I feel for you so much as a hairy girl myself!

I can give you practical advice (products, ways of physically coping), but more than anything I want to give you emotional guidance. I know it's hard to do, but try to be a little gentler with yourself. You can do this by separating your frustrations from the actual hairs themselves. It's an exercise. Seriously, sit down with yourself, take a deep breath, and try detaching your sadness/anger from the hairs for a minute. Think about your sadness. Why do you feel so embarrassed? Do you think it's because you haven't communicated openly with your partner about your body and the way you look? Did someone say something negative to you about your body when you were younger? Do you feel unworthy? Wow, unpack that. There's a LOT of emotional weight and burden there, I know it. Try to give yourself time to think about the depth of everything you're feeling.

Then I want you to think about what you can do to address some of those emotional monsters. 1) You can reach out to other hairy people (yay! you've done this one!). It helps to share and to realize you're not alone. 2) Recognize everyone has a flaw they're insecure about. Then recognize most people don't pay attention to a stranger's insecurities; much of the time what we get so worked up over is 100% invisible to someone else. 3) Remind yourself of no.2 often. 4) Talk with your partner about it. Express your fears and seek support and love. If your partner isn't careful with your feelings and doesn't at least lovingly acknowledge the pain you're going through, you may want to reassess your relationship with this person.

Then you can tackle the physical shit. You can try sugaring (there's a product I linked to already called Moom--it's great--or you can DIY it easily! Very cheap to do). You can shave some places. You can pluck others. Some, though, you may just need to concede will be hairy, and that's ok!

yo. love yourself. it's a huge project, but you can do it with a little practice and a lot of patience with yourself. At the end of the day you are your closest friend--shouldn't you be kind to her?