I strongly believe that people must relate to what they experience, not what they ideally would want. When something doesn't work for you, choose differently. Don't repeat heart breaking or unpleasant exeriences just because you want it to work, repeat the things that do work for you.

I also believe that we attract experiences that resonate with our inner states but we often don't know what these inner states are because they were established very early in life. We only know what we attract. Start choosing things that give you happy and joyful experiences. This way you will eventually attract better things, and perhaps one day poly will work for you. The important thing is to multiply the experiences that are good for you.