I’m not a mom, but I went through a really obsessive period when we got our first cat where I thought my partner just couldn’t do anything right. The kitten had a seroma in her spat incision and had to have a compress held for ten minutes twice a day on her belly. I went out of town and he didn’t do it. “She doesn’t want me to pick her up!” he said. I managed everything he did with her. Then a nanny I know who has a masters in, I believe, developmental psychology said I was exhibiting gatekeeping behavior like a new mother.
The funny thing is, when I first started spending time with his daughter, he would do the same thing to me!!
Anyway, I still do most of the cat care (and I’m extreme, with teeth brushing, clicker training, and the whole nine yards) but if I praise him, he steps up a lot more. This may not have happened to you at all, but if this resonates it may be helpful. Sending you love and support.