Oh man that is nuts. I had no idea what kind of fresh hell being married to an army person might bring for a civilian spouse. My husband and I are both working civilians - we are both oblivious to that. Honestly I don't think I could deal with that crap. It sounds like a country club or sorority. Or worse yet - a church community that is super exclusive.
My SIL just married a guy in the army. I dunno. He's a cool guy. I'm happy to have him as my brother in law, but I can see my SIL falling down into that trap of becoming an army wife. And it's weird because she has always been this super independent career woman who enjoyed being on her own 90% of the time. She still has her career and such... but lately she has been all about having tons of babies. I find it very peculiar (for her). This is a woman who staunchly detested the idea of becoming a "mommy" for the last 17 years I've known her! And she marries this army dude and suddenly buys a gigantic house so they have "room to grow." I came to find out they want a LOT of kids. It's just completely unlike her.
I really think she's sucked into the military wife clique and they're assimilating her into their hive mind, like the Borg.