I just got out of high school like a year ago.
I totally understand your problems and I hope you get your date so it works out, because I’d have absolutely been where you are right now if I were in the same situation.
But, and I don’t mean to sound like any adult in your life when it comes to problems like this, things could get way worse.
My senior year was the best year of my life, until it really wasn’t. I had everything I could want. I was enrolled in college, had friends I could hangout with at any time, and no need or want for a job. I also had a wonderful girlfriend that I’d have died for.
Summer was coming, we were planning for prom. I was happy. For the first time in my life there wasn’t anything wrong in my life and it was wonderful. I was secretly looking for some low-price apartments for my girl and I after we got out of school, and I was about to graduate. Everything was looking up.
I was in love. And it only took about 30 minutes on a sunny Sunday morning to change everything.
I had planned to hangout with my girl at around 11:30. I’m always late, but I got a text at around 10:00 telling me that she was ready early.
We had had a tiny argument the night before, and we’d been arguing off and on for a month, but it wasn’t anything crazy or difficult to move past.
I drive to her house, she gets in, and is mostly quiet. It’s not really strange to me because she has gradually worsening bipolar disorder. Like diagnosed by a doctor. I just put on some music, put my hand on her leg, and took off back to my house.
She was having a tough day. Her dad was upset about something and she was taking it hard. So when she started crying on the final stretch back to my place I just prepared to fulfill my role of caring for her and listening to anything that was bothering her.
That’s why it was so shocking that when I put on the parking brake, she told me that she didn’t think that we were good for each other. I plead and begged for her to rethink. I promised anything I could, but it all was empty and useless.
I spent the next week at home. If I wasn’t drunk, I was high, if I wasn’t high, I was drunk.
I’m a depressive person. I’ve always been prone to it. She was the one silver lining I had in anything wrong and when she left, so did any hopes I had for the future. Everything good in my life dried up and it turned to blackness and nothing made me happy when I was sober. It sounds dramatic, sure, but I’d been with this girl for a year and I’d never even thought I’d find someone period.
I went to school until graduation, missed prom, faked a smile at graduation, and almost joined the military to just get out of my town, which quickly became a personal hell.
Luckily I had family in philly that happily took me in. I now live out here. I’m starting college in the spring. And things are better.
I know I kinda just used this comment section for my own therapy session, but it’s actually the first time I’ve written it down in its entirety so there’s that.
My point though, in my rambling, is that while things look bad now, cherish them. Because nothing hits harder than the unexpected bitch that is life.
Godspeed to you my dude.