If I'm distracting myself with something on a bad day, e.g. watching a lot of TV instead of dealing with my list of responsibilities, it doesn't mean I'm not sober or having a "dry drunk", it means I'm experiencing certain thoughts, emotions and sensations, and then making certain choices. When those choices are acted upon, they become my reality, and change what is probable in the future. In the above example, I might be not dealing with the stress and anxiety of the bills straight on, and instead distracting myself so I can feel relaxed, but that's okay.
I don't have to be perfect at anything. There are times when I escape because I need to, I can't handle the stress that day. I keep it simple by not judging myself too harshly for my anxieties, procrastinations, or failings. I don't pile on. As long as I don't drink and start that whole world and its probable futures again, I trust that I'll meet my responsibilities, and that I won't be distracting myself forever. And for the last 20+years of total sobriety, this has been true. In that time, I've lost loved ones and felt deep sorrow. I've been through periods of mind-numbing stress and anxiety and sleeplessness. All that is part of life and comes with the deal of experience on earth. Just as the joys, laughter, and times of fun and relaxation are. As for the bad days or periods, they're relatively brief, and most days are just normal to good, and sometimes great. I've had periods of major procrastination and escape into TV or other forms of entertainment. But so what. No biggie. I didn't drink, drive drunk, or harm anyone. Just created some escape. I give myself the rope to be imperfect.
Everything changes and passes (this too shall pass. The past is always the past. I can't do anything about the 20 years of drinking I did prior to the 20 years of sobriety. I can't do anything about all the times I didn't face my responsibilities. It's all just memories now. All I have is now, and the ability to choose and act—create my life in a conscious way. Which me? Which world? Actions determine the answers.
1186 sober days is freaking amazing. And here we are today. A clean slate. We will feel things today. We will make choices today. Hopefully, one of those choices will not be beating ourselves up for the past, and rather just being what we are, and feeling what we feel, and loving ourselves and our glorious imperfections. :)