I think there's generally two ways that you can respond to an emotionally abusive parent (because my mom sounds like your mom - and she learned it from her mom). One, you can be like me, become an adult very early, learn how to not react to situations, basically become a bit of an introvert while trying to keep the peace as much as possible. Maybe with a good dose of social anxiety thrown in there because you're not sure how adults are going to react because your parent is so emotionally reactive. I spent a lot of time as a child trying to keep the peace while my dad travelled. And actually I shut down so much when my mom was in one of her screaming moods that I literally blocked most of it out of my memory until my mid 20s when I finally took my sister's side of the story seriously and started to remember.

But I could have gone the other way and became like my sister (and like Farrah) who learned how to respond by escalating situations to the max just like the parent. By attracting negative attention just to piss the parent off even more. By holding intense grudges for life. And being angry at everyone all the time.

What's sad is that by yelling and screaming in front her child at her mom, Farrah is just perpetuating the cycle. I give Farrah credit for going to counseling with her mom and trying, because like she says it's nice for Sophia to have a relationship with her grandmother. But I think that Deb is not going to change, and Farrah needs to cut her out. For the sake of her daughter.