I'm in love with a girl playing this very same game with an older man. I'm a 30 y/o white guy in the military. A specialist on active duty, that's a rank just before sergeant. The girl I'm talkin about is black, she's a nurse with two kids in the reserves. She was stripper for about 8 years. She's very sharp. The man she's dating is 54 and she just turned 30 two months ago. She's still married to her ex but they just never got a divorce. Apparently "he won't give me a divorce". Before I joined I made decent money, what I call decent anyway, about 80-90k a year. Now I make shit. The man she dates now owns his own house, and runs a business setting up audio for conferences and stuff like that. He's very well off and gives her money every time he's out of town to set up for more conferences. He owns a yacht and keeps it down in FL where I'm assuming he owns more property. He doesn't give her a lot of money, just 300-400 dollars or so each week he's out of town. She doesn't love him. She's ambitious and is full capable of making her own money. She just graduated two months ago. Her and I click on every level. We both enjoy drugs, we're both ambitious and are smart enough to do whatever we want. I educated myself before I joined the military. When I get out I can easily make 120k a year just with my regular job, not including the properties I'm investing in. We tell each other everything. I've only known her for 3 years and I know more about her than her current boyfriend knows and he's known her for over 5. He thinks pot is dangerous and is, from my point of view, a dull person. I don't go more than 5 minutes through my day without thinking of her. There's nothing I wouldn't do for this girl. I know we'll never be together. I've tried everything I could to change her mind. It doesn't help that I'm stuck in this military contract making less than 20k a year. I get out in a few months and even though I'll be making over 100k a year with my regular job and probably 50k+ at a minimum in passive income through particular investments over the next few years till I'm able to buy larger properties, I know it's a waste of time trying. We talk everyday, even on FaceTime for 10+ hours a day on the weekend. I talk to her whole family, including her two gorgeous kids, her grandmother and her mom. We will never get together. She says I'm a only a 9 because of my attitude, I have a very low self esteem. He's nothing special. A 6 or 7 at best. Chubby bald white dude. It's shitty to know that even though we click that well and we're both attracted to each other and I can provide everything she's could want, we will never be a couple. At most she wants to be friends with benefits, something I've made clear that can't happen. We're friends or a couple, that's it. I would marry this girl tomorrow knowing we would never have sex if I could just see her everyday knowing she cared about me the same way I care about her. I adore this girl but it's shitty knowing I can never forget or turn my back on her for anyone else. This is the girl that got away because she decided to take the easy road now rather than to take a chance with me. There's nothing I wouldn't give up or do for her. It sucks knowing I fell short cause she wants to secure a free ticket now rather than to be with someone she cares about, that can do the same or even more for her in a year or two.