I'm a public defender. The ATM in jail always strikes me as a little ironic.

I know, right? When the Aurora theater shooting happened, it totally shocked me. A shooting like that was so rare and foreign that it made the whole thing even more sinister.

Then Sandy Hook happened. Twenty kids gunned down by a monster. It made me literally sick. With Aurora being so recent, it made me think that something was seriously wrong.

Then fast forward to today and I have no idea how many shootings there have been this year. I can only remember the most recent ones (Oregon, Colorado, California).

Nearly once every month this year I've turned on the news and seen the headline "ACTIVE SHOOTER AT *pretty much fucking anywhere*", and each time, I get more and more numb to it.

When I saw the news about the most recent one, I read the CNN article and went along with my day. It didn't even faze me. I stopped and thought "what the fuck is wrong with me?". Fourteen people just got murdered in an event that has nearly become a monthly routine and my response to that was "huh, that sucks... I wonder if I've got enough cash for Chipotle or if I need to use my card?"

It's becoming routine now. Reporters on CNN were saying "this is different than a typical mass shooting."

A typical mass shooting! "Yeah this guy's behavior is different than the 200 other guys that massacred a bunch of people in public places this year. It's not like what we're used to reporting on every other day."

I don't know where I was going with this, all I know is that I'm just emotionally exhausted. I used to be patriotic and really be a /r/murica type person, but as of lately I'm just not feeling it. There's something really fucking wrong with a country where mass shootings are a monthly or even weekly occurrence, and nobody will fucking do anything about it.

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