She started having this affair about a week after this happened with someone she met on OkCupid. I don't know the person. By being a little bit of a jerk I meant I just wasn't talking to her much. Basically I was just being really quiet. There wasn't an argument or anything like that. I definitely did not mean that she wouldn't be able to tell she was being sexually assaulted. What I meant is that she has been traumatized by what her brother did to her, and that I'm afraid that her memories of what happened to her then have made her extremely scared of ever being in that sort of situation again. She has nightmares constantly about that sort of thing. Sometimes it's even me or other people she knows that is raping or attacking her in her dreams. I don't know if she had a nightmare later that night, and is mixing that in with her memories... sometimes her nightmares seem very real to her, or if her past might have just made her more likely to think rape than if she hadn't had that sort of experience. All she really remembers happening apparently is me ripping her panties off, slapping her at some point, and then waking up "hours later" on the couch. That last part is impossible though. I was already in a trade within 30 minutes of her getting home. I think she just remembers starting to nod off when I was catching my breath, and then throwing on my underwear when she went to get my monitor. I definitely have not been emotionally abusing her. We practically never fought or argued, and we hadn't argued in months that I can recall. I had my faults, but our marriage was pretty good before this. I didn't have sex with her as much as I should have, and I was really depressed lately after my mother died back in February... I was being kind of lazy around the house lately, but we didn't fight or anything like that. I was completely sober. I might have one or two drinks in a year. I used to like to smoke pot, but I stopped doing that about 3 months after her and I met because she didn't like the smell of it. She barely ever drinks either. I don't know if she's been drinking since then, but it was pretty rare for her. She's a diabetic, and drinking can mess with her blood sugar a lot.