Nigerian Prince with the secret pdf emailed to him (to his private email that isn't shared and must therefore be legit)

Bonus feature now is all binaries built have embedded a "surprise security audit helper that systemically (op code!) embeds itself in a way to take care of a runtime executable

Just like brussel sprouts are definitely not aborted cabbage patch kids

The scariest part is the compiler looks for the hardware op codes and adjusts disguised as an audio driver often (like a three year old burn victim singing Freddy Mercury but everyone doesn't want to touch the subject)

So this wonderful parasite doesn't do anything and is signed through a backdoor for all unvaccinated operating systems. Like a picture perfect Mormon with a picture perfect family and career (for now and definitely won't kill people), the most strange thing is inactivity

Compiler, what a funny chap, says I'm going to publish a build and if in an extraordinary hard to reach place (such as the scientologists or an NS4 furry convention)

But it isn't stupid. It is waiting for a rolling patch feature flag before a language upgrade

See, it is hard to get into the early memory load stage of an OS or runtime, but this Nigerian Prince knows what he is doing. He planned ahead with 20% of all taxpayers money in the free ish world.

That new app, software package, Malwarebytes, Oracle patch, Norton malware, TikTok fuckery, MS office, xmonad Haskell package, Debian based OS, your refrigerator, and the 7-11 tablet that gives you reward points all rely on a fundamental concept: a secure compiler

The greatest trick the Nigerian Prince ever pulled was becoming an NSA furry