I'm really perplexed by this reality. What TF is this? Who is behind all this? It's a simulation written by a troll?

Just by reading the title of your post, dear friend, I know exactly where you are. I know exactly how it feels. Therefore, in some sense (if we're being honest, at this juncture in your life, it is the most important sense) I know exactly who you are. As a sort of public safety announcement, general first aid advice in such moments of crisis. This is where the true value of spiritual discipline is revealed!

  1. Moment of Crisis --> BREATHE! Sit and breathe! Walk, move! All "voices" are to be ignored out of hand. Remember, you are absolutely unpredictably out of control right now. You are something like a fireman's, serious business type of hose, that for whatever reason has until now been used by some old man to water his symbolic garden... and you're experiencing your full capacity for the first time... it's a lot more complicated than that... nuance available upon request.

  2. As the old adage goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Well an appropriate variation applies to just about every meaningful aspect of your life. At the end of the day, what it boils down to is... there are moments, periods, days, years... where life demands certain actions of you. Life is quite flexible, but life doesn't compromise, it has clear limits, and clear indicators for when those limits are being reached, and fail

/r/awakened Thread