I know, that's why I used "egalitarian" above, and I always say it alongside "feminism" so it's clear what I mean. I hate that misogynists have co-opted the word feminist and twisted into an insult, but it won't stop me using it, because that would be like saying "Oh, there are stereotypes about Ireland so I won't call myself Irish anymore." You have to just keep being a truthful representative of what you are and what you believe.

I agree that the most vocal of feminists within the Mormon sphere have been on the more extreme end. And frankly, asking for the priesthood before demanding equal pay is always going to get you summarily dismissed without a fair hearing, because people can hide behind it being religious doctrine.

But I'm not sure what other feminists you're listening to, because most that I know of are just asking for equal treatment and equal representation. Anita Sarkeesian suggested that female characters in video games were two-dimensional plot devices, and she's been threated with rape and murder ever since. When she tried to give a talk at Utah University, she was threatened with another Montreal Massacre; the police said that the rights of people to carry concealed weapons in the state trumped the right of her audience to be safe, so she had to cancel the event. When Brianna Wu pointed out that there aren't enough women in game development, she was doxxed, threatened with rape and death, and had to leave her home. After her dog died, she was sent pictures of mutilated dogs. Zoe Quinn pointed out misogyny in gaming and had to go into hiding for her own protection.

I could go on and on... my point is, these are among the vocal feminists I'm familiar with, and all they say is things like "Could we not have this superhero contorted into a ridiculous position just because you want to be able to see her cleavage and ass at the same time?" There's nothing very radical or threatening about their ideas; they're not even in the same realm as Kate Kelly, with her chants, her requests for seats for women, and the way she snarls at her critics. They're women with well-formed arguments about a specific field that they're knowledgeable in (which, if changed, would have a huge positive ripple effect on all culture), and their lives have been made hell for speaking out about it.

As a nevermo, I have a feeling that a lot of women immersed in LDS culture aren't even aware of these stories that are going on around them, and battles that are being fought on their behalf. So as you said, it's incredibly unfortunate that people's impression of feminism - maybe one of their first exposures to it - is coming in the form of such outdated demands and blindness to privilege.