She's always let me initiate, but she's backed off on physical shows of affection now. That probably started when I started pulling back.

I have a bunch of back stuff and chronic pain. She has some back stuff, to a lesser degree than me, and chronic pain issues too. It does complicate things a bit, and after I got hurt was probably the start of our issues.

I have turned her down a few times, maybe 10 - 12 times. She is pretty self conscious now, so I'm sure that she feels hurt. This is what is killing me and why I posted asking for advice. I know she's hurting and I need to fix it.

I appreciate the advice to suck it up and have that conversation, I misunderstood earlier. I do need to do just this, we've had vague conversations dancing around it but I just need to force it and tell her I want to bring the intimicy back and will do whatever is necessary.

Thank you, this is solid advice.