I wrote the following last night to respond to a friend's derisive comment about Omar:
First, let me say that in no way under any circumstances do I condone or excuse Omar Mateen in the Orlando massacre. Having said that...
I feel pity for him. When there were enough news stories confirming that he was struggling with his own homosexual feelings, I felt an immense sadness. Sad that his culture condemns homosexuality, and he probably watched the videos where gay men were thrown off buildings, stoned to death, beheaded and more. Not that Christianity is much better: it's history is bloodstained with atrocities against gay people. Although things may seem better today, the sentiments simmer just barely under the radar. In 2015, for example, an initiative called the “Sodomite Suppression Act” was certified in California and placed on the ballot. Among other things, it provided an affirmative defense for any person murdering a known homosexual.
Back to Omar. Islam has rules, and some of them are pretty harsh. But if one takes the time to properly read and understand the Quran, one sees that the overarching theme is one of compassion and respect, very similar to the Christian Gospels. But when certain portions of those writings are taken out of context and twisted to serve one's own idea of the religion, terrible things happen. ISIS. Westboro Baptist Church. Susan B. Anthony hit the nail on the head with her famous quote, “I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.”
Mateen felt he didn't have a way out. Similar to Tyler Clementi, who jumped off the George Washington Bridge to his death in 2010. Similar to Aaron McKinney, who was so distraught over his own homosexual urges he murdered Matthew Shepard.
That Mateen pledged himself to ISIS is, I believe, a ploy, an excuse, a cover in the event that he came out of that carnage alive. Yes, he self-radicalized, just as many gay people have self-mutilated (either physically or chemically). It's not a case of inability to deal with the truth, it's a case of inability to reconcile one's personal reality with one's social environment. When there is a perception that reality and environment can't be reconciled, there is damage, whether it's internal, as in Clementi's case, or external, as demonstrated by Mateen, McKinney, and countless others.
How many gays and lesbians, particularly older ones, have found themselves in that Gordian Knot, wanting to be free but feeling compelled to deceive? How much emotional damage from that kind of carnage is still strewn about our societal landscape today? Yes, Mateen was born and raised in this country, the child of Afghani immigrants, in the Islamic culture. Should he not have had, especially in this country, an alternative, a different way to deal with his situation? Perhaps we should ask that question to the thousands of gay youth, of many different religions and walks of life, who are thrown out of their homes every year, in this country, just because they are gay, and wind up in horrific situations such as prostitution, drug addiction, suicide and being murdered.
Had Mateen survived, my belief in opposing the death penalty would have been severely tested. He attacked my community, my sisters and brothers, my family. But I would still have pity for the person who, in his own mind, looked in the mirror and screamed “IT CAN'T BE! IT CAN'T BE!” in utter anguish and despair. And unfortunately, putting those feelings of hopelessness and helplessness into anger and rage. We don't need more anti-gun laws, we need more awareness, education, outreach and support. Omar Mateen needed help, and we, the American society, failed him.