Considering more than 20 percent of guys get attention from women, that stat actually seems to indicate how little appearance ultimately goes into play for women when choosing men. Also it’s possible your choice of reading material might be fucking with your head/ability to land a girlfriend. Did you read the original okcupid page? Even there, there are some warped conclusions being drawn. Like when the data showed that women messaged men despite ranking them low on appearance, and they concluded that
the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway. ?????? To me, that seems to be pretty clear evidence that poor physical appearance DOESN’T rule out possible attraction to men. Meanwhile, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten. when the data showed men only messaged the top third most attractive women, despite rating all girls as more acceptable.
It makes sense that women would fare better in such a shallow beauty contest. All women were really supposed to do for a long time was look pretty, while men are expected to be interesting, successful, intelligent individuals. This is hard on both parties. Things have changed, but not completely. You can see the difference still just looking at the general types of photos girls post vs boys - girls take hundreds of shameless selfies to get that perfect one, while boys would be shamed for this behavior and usually go with candid shots, showing some other aspect of their life.
Some personal experience: my sister is pretty hot, and she genuinely prefers guys with a few extra pounds. She actually wants her boyfriend to gain weight (not bulk), and was totally obsessed with a guy that looks just like Seth Rogan (but bigger!). Girls really do have different types. Only some girls will love a man for his body, while others avoid muscly guys altogether. I personally think conventionally attractive guys are often boring or smarmy, while ‘ugly’ features and a good personality can make me kind of obsessed. Lots of women agree with me, case and point
Many girls WOULD be turned away by your attitude, just like my own self-loathing scares off potential partners. That is just depression, and that is why everyone is always telling you to refocus your efforts on that.
But you ARE working on that – by losing weight. That is a solid goal that will likely do wonders for you. I hope my perspective has been more eye-opening than irritating, and I wish you the best of luck!
