met a girl last year who I vibed with on every level. it was the first time in 7 years that I felt a connection with another girl (I'd dates off and on but had been single since 19. those first loves really fuck ya up). we had awesome chemistry and were very much attracted to each other. she dumped me because she was "scared" to be in a relationship again as she'd been in one from the ages of 17-24 (25 when I met her). now I had understood it was such a big chunk of her life, and when we were dating, I told her she could always talk to me about it. she did a little bit, telling me how toxic and one-sided it was.

10 months later of no-contact, we meet up to catch up over sushi. she seemed very guilty about seeing me. for me, it was chill. I had no hard feelings.

accepted her follow request on IG a few weeks later and find out she's been seeing that ex of 6 years again.

at this point, I figure they'll get married. don't know if it'll last, but I digress.

after going through that shit, I just really don't want to bother dating anymore. fuck all of it.