I'm suspecting my ex (now good friend) has Aspergers. Was adviced to come here from /r/aspergers

I've only recently realised I have Aspergers. A therapist pointed it out a couple of years ago and I wasn't ready to hear it then, and so I kinda took offence when she said it, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Then when I happened upon a list of female aspie traits I remembered what she said and everything made sense and fell into place. I really wish I'd have known long ago and I keep switching between being happy I understand the way I am, to a sort of grief for the life I might have had, if I had known sooner.

For me personally, I can only see the benefits to knowing. I am very glad that therapist pointed it out and I wish others would have, if they had noticed. I can definitely relate to your description of your friend, whether that's because she has Aspergers or we just have similar personalities or quirks who knows. I actually don't get the x-files thing either? What does that game have to do with it?

I might be being too simplistic here, but if you tell her what you've been thinking, and she doesn't have Aspergers, then she might take offence or she might not even be bothered by your suggestion. Neither of those things are catastrophic, right? Or if she has Aspergers she might not be ready to hear it or even want to know that about herself, in which case she can ignore it for a while like I did or forever if she wants. OR she might have a complete a-ha moment and finally realise why she feels so different and might finally feel optimistic and not alone for the first time in her life. That to me far outweighs anything else. That's just my personal preference of course, but I can't tell you how much discovering this about myself has changed my life already and it's only been a matter of weeks so far.

i don't know why the other commenter hated your post so much. I can see that you want to help her. And she is obviously an intelligent person, it'd be really sad if her skills in architecture never amounted to anything because she dropped out of uni (like I did and many many others).

If you do decide to talk to her about it, you could make clear that you don't think she's like her brother, and that Aspergers can look very different in females etc.

/r/aspergirls Thread