Thanks for the reply. But...

I comparatively have not accomplished much at all. Sure, I might be good at remembering random facts (I kinda have to be because I cba'd to attend 99% of my classes, which has been the case ever since I came into university over 5 years ago), but I don't have the motivation to be any better than that. There are hundreds of thousands of students that are better than me academically in every way, shape, and form. I'm useless. I'm disposable.

With respect to my sexuality, even though I've explicitly only ever had romantic feelings for individuals of the same sex, I'm still not completely disgusted by the opposite sex either. And that's what confuses the absolute living hell out of me. The catch is, I haven't had romantic feelings for anyone of the opposite sex in my 24 years of life, but I've had countless for the same sex. So you can understand my predicament.

And yeah, sure. Normal people have struggles, I know that. But they aren't my struggles. I've been conditioned to see everything through dark-tinted glasses (I apologize because that's a terrible anti-analogy to rose-colored glasses). Relatively speaking, RARELY do I hear of "normal" people not having at least a blue-collared job, being mildly successful, having a wife, having children, etc. etc.

All I want in this life, honest to god, is to have someone that genuinely cares about me, and that I genuinely care about. I couldn't care less about the American dream of 3 1/2 children, a stellar job, stellar paycheck, etc. I just want love.

I just want the love that I was denied ever since I was little. But nobody wants to give that to me. Nobody's ever going to give that to me.