I get where the replies like this are coming from. Maybe it's naïve of me to think it would work out, but a year's worth of taking incoming in the desert has put me and desert girl through the emotional ringer as well. There were plenty of strings attached, the risks of ruining her career, her home life, etc. I'm not necessarily in it for the sex. We have both talked of the future, of kids, careers, houses, etc.
Emotional cheating is the worst, I would agree, because that suggests there is a problem with more than just the bedroom. It means that I have started to think of someone else as the main person in my relationship. Maybe because I was so fully invested in my previous relationship that I lost myself? I'm not sure.
I'm seeking out therapy at the advice of this board. I was already trying, but have doubled my efforts to get through to some therapists.
I guess the TL;DR is that I'm not wrestling with this decision for the promise of good sex for a couple months. I'm torn because of the vastly different futures.