And to show love and respect, I don't go anywhere except a month ago when I started working while my child was in school all day. I don't go anywhere except to get groceries and household supplies. I don't talk to any friends. I don't have any family. I don't argue or disagree. I try to state my needs at times or ask for things but those usually get turned down. That's how I got the most recent black eye.. trying to ask him not to drive drunk. If I weren't afraid of other, innocent people getting hurt, I wouldn't care or try to stop him from drinking and driving. I cook. I clean, and I have done all the parenting from day one. I used to voice my appreciation for him providing for our family. But he doesn't do it out of love for me or because he wants to provide for us. He tells me sometimes that he wishes my child and I didn't exist. He has to pretend for the rest of the world that he's a loving father and partner and if I leave him, that would ruin his facade. I don't appreciate him. I don't tell him that but I don't thank him or go out of my way to pamper him either. I do cook and clean though. And I used to perform sexual favors on demand but I refuse to do that anymore. I think I know how to be a good partner. I know how to appreciate a man. And I would really, really appreciate a good man. One who doesn't lash out at me physically every now and then and who just tells me hey, could you lose 10 pounds (if that's how they feel) or whatever else they may want. I would be happy to defer to the will of a good man who would take care of me and my child. I am not capable of doing anymore than is necessary to not create conflict in my current relationship.