Mom died when I was 9, and dad left us/gave us to foster care at 11.
Family of 7, all 5 of us siblings were split up after that into different foster parents, group homes, aged out at different times or were adopted.
So yeah... everyone in my family is basically 'dead' to each other b/c we basically grew up as single children.
How if felt? As a kid I was sad when my mom died, she had cancer when I was 7-9. I tried to keep some of her stuff like this yellow handkerchief that belong to her. .. but obviously my dad gave us up at 11 and social services yanked us out of school and never returned home. So I guess just sad.
As a kid I just knew she was sick, didn't know she was going to die. We saw her one last time before she was taken off life support. She wanted that I think. She looked like a pale ghost at the hospital but I was confused why we were getting to see her after so many months of her being at the hospital.
Anyways, we were very scared of my dad, he was extremely pshyically abusive, he lost us to neglect, and abuse when he got out of jail for reference.
So as you can see... no body and growing up, it was just very lonel years. No long term friends b/c no one really wants to be friends with a kid who doesn't have any parents to supervise, take them places, money...
Basically, no one cares about you at this point onwards. Had some friends in high school, who tried to understand... ran away with them often, did some drugs and lived life some. Friends basically became your only temporary family.
But life, means you outgrow friends, and they also have their own families right?
After aging out of foster care, Life was hard without anyone there to teach you anything. You don't have any safety nets. I was poor most of my life,was homeless, hungry and often didn't know what to do or who to go to. Learned the hard way I guess?
That was 11-23.
These days IRL, I mostly just keep to myself. Most people really can't relate and you realize what most people mostly care are just these luxuries you didn't have or ever known.
So they probably think you're wierd too? Anyways, I've always had a lot of friends, been good at socializing, don't feel I have any serious issues. I always feel grateful I've made in this far in life.
Not sure any of this gives you any insight on what it's like to have nobody growing up.