It was a nice summer morning on September 11th, 2001. I wake up to an emergency broadcasting. The twin towers have been hit by the stinky muslims. Once I had heard of this, I immediately knew what must be done. It would take much time and much effort, but it had to be done. It had to start with grabbing the right equipment, but that would take tons of money. The only way to get that much money would be to (this is a snakes textpost by the way) rob a bank or something, because I was too smart and too capable to get a job. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to rob a bank, so I had to steal the parts. First, I needed to watch the entirety of Family Guy so I could figure out how to make a time machine. It took a lot of work and a lot of testing, but I finally created the perfect blueprint for a time machine. I didn’t get any of the materials, I just went to family man’s house and took the machine lol Now, I had to use the time machine. I had to find a time where Cleopatra was alive, so I went to 23 BC. My plan was to fuck her so I could have children with her, then raise those children so that they wouldn’t grow up to be stinky muslims and give birth to Obama Bin Cemen and let all those people die. I know people would treat me as a hero, and I’d finally lose my virginity, so it was a win-win. Right before I did the time transportation, I had flashbacks to when I asked this girl out, and she had rejected me. I was such a gentlemen to her... I asked her so nicely, asking her “Hello m’lady, would you be as so kind to please have a date with me, and later the same night have sexual intercourse?”, as she then responded with “Get away from me creep!”, and “Stupid gamer!”, and many more things related to that. I then flipped my fedora to her, and left in tears. I was so hurt and so embarrased. Hopefully when I come back, society will be different and gamers will rule the world. Now, it was time for me to go back in time. I pressed one of those buttons that Stewie (this is a snakes textpost) pressed, and I was in Egypt. I was ready to absolutely fucking destroy Cleopatra. I found where she was, and I greeted myself. I then realized she didn’t understand English, so she didn’t understand what I was saying. I began to say “