This is exactly correct.

The incel community is interesting because you have to bear in mind that the people who actually do escape the bucket never never look back (although a few come out as reformed on this sub, which is always great to see). As its all anonymous there is basically no way of knowing who escapes and who does not.

You know that the majority of them will stop being an incel the second a girl shows them any interest. If they participated in any of the hate speech during their time associating with the group, they won't want their new partner finding out about it.

Because nobody ever looks back, they never get any feedback from them many ex incels that the group is bullshit and—when they do receive such feedback—they dismiss it as cucktears bullshit infiltration etc.

There is only one real definition of the word incel:

A person who associates with the incel hate group.

When you join the group you become an incel, and when you leave the group you stop being an incel. As with all hate groups, it is associated with people on the lowest rung of the ladder in terms of intelligence and the highest rung of the ladder in terms of low-functioning toxic personalities.