i'm not an istp but a fellow infj and i wonder if you've watched frank james' why the infj ruins relationships. i bet every infj who's into personality types has watched frank james' rambles right? i'm relatively new to personality types, but i think his advices are spot on.

we can't stop doing this, and i have deep love for our cognitive functions, that's why i keep unintentionally using them, but it's nice to be called out for overusing them at times, i recommend his videos and advices a lot.

idk about istps in general but i have a close friend who is an istp and it took me a while to realize but i believe she does kind of dislike it. i think she does appreciate me paying attention to her details and remembering everything she's ever told me, but not me thinking i know more than what she tells me or trying to dig deeper than what she's comfortable with. i think your fe should help you with this. and also i've realized i can't really read her that well or entirely understand her or predict her and i should kind of give up trying lmao. of course i still do it in many ways because we can't help it but i'm mindful of not making it uncomfortable or annoying for her. interacting with her is like writing with my bad hand but it's a great exercise of improvement and exercising my weaknesses and i learn a lot from her and our differences. that's another advice i like from frank james, try to learn from people, try to stop teaching things to people. we don't actually know sh*t, the more i learn about myself and the world the more i realize this. having an istp in your life could be a humbling experience, or at least i know it is for me, i hope you use it that way too...

i saw in the comments your friend didn't like you joking about him not having emotions and being a robot... yeah that joke wouldn't be well received by my friend either. it's not nice in itself but i suspect it must be especially not nice for someone like my friend. i have many theories about the reasons why, but i would say, if they're like my friend, be careful about implying "something is wrong about them" or "something is defective about them", especially about their feelings or the way they feel things. i believe my friend may have insecurities about this. she can joke about it but not other people. and maybe especially people who aren't like her, like us. i believe if you're like me once you take this into consideration you can easily find ways of avoiding implying this and being careful with the way you word things. anyway idk if any of this is helpful or accurate at all lmao, and sorry if the way i word things is awkward, english is not my first language.