Ah man, its relieving to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Sometimes I feel like an alien living Earth. I could definitely relate to a lot of what you said really hard.
I've had many troubles with college such as withdrawing and missing classes. I lied to my parents for a year about taking classes when I wasn't, which played a huge factor in my depression as I began to feel extremely guilty about it. I also got out of a relationship of nearly 3 years when I was 20 which lead to me not trusting a soul and always having my guard up. At the time, I legitimately thought she was the one but now I know I was totally wrong. She was extremely conniving and deceitful. Even lost my virginity to the chick. Sometimes I wonder how I could be having all these problems feeling so quiet and like I don't have much to say when I used to be on the phone with her for 3 or 4 hours on a nightly basis. Since her, I've messed around with a couple chicks but nothing too serious or recent. I dated some pretty good looking girls in my years but lately I haven't been too interested in trying to talk to girls as I've just been trying to focus on better myself. If the right one did come along though (my judgement has gotten a lot better) I wouldn't hesitate on it but that's extremely unlike at this point of my life.
Your 3rd paragraph is also extremely relatable for me. I've also just been trying to focus on things such as improving my relationship with my parents and also with God. I'm Muslim and for one of the first times in my life, I've been praying and practicing on a very consistent basis. I just wish I could maintain that balance of being that extremely likeable, fun person I used to be along with the matured, more good-hearted good-intentioned person I am today. I know my potential and I know how awesome I could be if I grew to be the best version of myself. I pray to God everyday that he leads me to being so. I'm not one who cares too much about the opinions of others, I just want to make myself happy by reaching the potential I see for myself.
I've also been hitting the gym really hard recently. I've told myself I want to start writing but just haven't gotten to it outside of this post. It's really comforting to see I'm not the only one out there who thinks the way I do. Thank God for the internet.
Anytime you need someone to talk to I'm here for you man! I wish you the best in your progress and I really believe that one day you'll fight through the issues you're enduring and reach your full potential the same way I will! The past couple days since I've written this post I have actually been feeling slightly better! I hope I can continue in that direction and it only improves. Thanks so much for responding and letting me know I'm not alone in this.