Oh man, I have SO much to say about this. Thinking about the nature of love was basically my full-time job in high school.

During that time, the question always came back to "What is love?" (^{Baby,don'thurtmeDon'thurtmeNomore} ). It's not the first time anyone's asked that question, of course. One of my favorites is Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. The theory has its own share of problems, but I like the concepts presented in there.

But yes, the question always came back to how love is defined. I eventually decided that I was making it more complex than it needed to be. Love is just...caring about someone, and wanting to spend time with that person. It can be mixed in with other feelings like attraction, revulsion, pity, admiration, but in the end, it is simply about caring.

And when I say caring, I mean the act of caring. In other words, love is an action, not a noun. It is something that I choose to do. It may not be a fully conscious choice, but in the end it's something that humans do, not some higher ideal that exists on its own as a concept.

With that definition in mind...I don't actually fall in love that easily. I love everyone in a humanitarian sense. But when it comes to romantic love, there is a distinct separation between a feeling of attraction and intimacy (which I easily feel) and the act of loving someone.

With my fiancee, I didn't really know if it was love until about 6 months in. At that point, I did a lot of thinking and introspection, and decided that I wanted it to be love. So I chose to love--to actively care about and commit.

It was a lot easier than asking whether the love was genuine or not. I chose for it to be real, and so it was.

And yes, I have broken up with someone before and still wonder if the other person is alright. There's nothing wrong about still caring about someone, as long as it's not emotionally crippling. Doesn't it just indicate a healthy amount of compassion and goodwill? Maybe it is related to Si, but who cares? There's nothing wrong with it.