You are
Banned from multiple communities.
You are "self-banned" from tulpa.info
You state we are "poor" for the fact you are here.
Do you want to get along, or do you not want to get along? It appears you do, but you seem to be wearing your bans with pride as you do so, with little indication of having learned or attempted to change from them.
Keep in mind the below is speculation. No way it's correct to a dime, but these are my assumptions on the factors driving you to make posts like this.
Personally, I think you are insecure about what you believe. You found that all these other communities rejected your opinions or thoughts, but you tried to get along regardless. In the face of a world where you are against everyone else, it breaks you down.
You make post after post trying to say something that people agree with rather than trying to deconstruct. You try to head off criticism because you've faced it a thousand times before. Doesn't work, they still dislike you, or at least refuse to accept what you say, which feels very similar.
So you come here. A new leaf, a new community, a new home, and try to make a post, something people will be exposed to newly, something people might agree with. A new beginning, filled with potential. It doesn't go well. You see the same pattern, so you attempt to head it off again, you make this post, you say you'll not do the thing you feel attacked over.
You don't know what's gone wrong, you don't know how to end the drama, to end the bullshit. Twist and contort yourself until people will just finally be accepting, to feel like you are really part of a community rather than acting despite it. You could leave, but where else is there?
They won't, you know that. You've seen it before, you've tried this before. You head it off again by saying you feel sorry that we "have to deal with you". Not antagonistic, it's just the truth, you think we'll see you like that. Laugh at tragedy.
The way you fix your current state of mind, and as a byproduct, your interactions with the larger community, has nothing to do with the fact you make posts with the wrong viewpoints. It, instead, has everything to do with the assumption that everyone will be sad to see you are posting here.