From what I can tell, you are not autistic - you have an autistic child. So what you’re actually doing is swooping into autistic spaces to tell autistic people who they are and how they should feel, think and define themselves in order to protect YOURSELF from the way your child is defined. And then you get aggressive when the very people you are “debating” with get upset about it.
Take a step back and look at what you are doing. You are entering a safe autistic space to swing your weight around and hurt the very people you SHOULD be listening to.
It is not okay for you to tell us how to define ourselves to make yourself feel better. It is not ok to criticise the way an autistic person argues with emotion, when you are attacking the CORE of their being. This is not a “debate”. This is not a hypothetical conversation we all have the privilege of remaining distant from. You are talking to us ABOUT US. Trust me, autistic people have very little control over the way the world sees us. We should be able to at least choose the word itself.
And it is also not okay to pretend you are interested and knowledgeable about autism when what you really want is to tear apart people who live with it every day to make yourself feel better, and be so incredibly offensive to them online.
If you are a “technical writer” of autism, you are part of the problem. Stop telling us who we are.