Absolute abstinence doesn't do it for me, either. I only really have an issue when I'm in a cycle, and well... everything is an issue then.
I like socialising and craft beer too much to just not drink. I would say I'd have 2-3 beers (or wines) 2/5 weekdays, and maybe a 4-5 drink session on Friday or Saturday every second week - so a reasonable social drinker. For me, I find that I had to be really honest with myself and identify:
The people whom with I engage in problem behaviours. I have a few 'friends' (associates) who I always knew would be up for a few drinks, I got into a pattern of reaching out to them when I was down, then engaging in excessive drinking - the kind that comes with shame. I cut the worst one out and ask myself very carefully what my motivations are for hanging with the others. If I do hang with them, it's never a weekday (to minimise any fallout.)
Why I want to drink. I am still capable of going 'I've had a shit day, I need a drink' and doing this healthily - outside of a mood state. If I feel off, even by a little, and I'm distressed, I keep my head clear. If my coworkers are idiots and I'm frustrated and it's beer o' clock, that feels different from being in despair and losing myself in a bottle. Drinking with friends to have a bitch session (not the ones mentioned previously!) > drinking alone for the sake of drinking.
Am I manic? Stay the fuck away from ANYTHING. This doesn't always go so well, because reasoning with manic me isn't always possible. My issue was always cocaine, and I don't do it anymore and I don't want to. Except when I'm manic and around the right people (a majority of my social circle) and fall into old habits and that gets ugly quick. I drink more than I normally would and in a different way (i.e. clubs, hard liquor, etc). I'm still smarting from a recent relapse and trying to figure it out - I'm sure you know keeping your manic self out of trouble is hard. I hid my mania as best as I could and had no one to be accountable to; next time I will open up about my fears of relapse and how I fear my own behaviour.
I (generally) don't drink at home. Or I only bring enough for one healthy session, so a couple of craft beers or one bottle of wine. I don't keep it in the house; it is consumed the same day. That way I can't be impulsive about it, I have had to plan.