Internalized transphobia is absolutely brutal and I don't know how to deal with it (tw transphobia and suicide)

Damn you posted this at the right fuckin time for me. Literally made a throwaway just now to comment because I’m not out on reddit nor irl lol. I mean I struggle a lot with internalized tphobia because I used to frequent subs like GC and detrans a lot early in coming to terms with my identity and I’ve kinda subconsciously subscribed to some terfy blanchardian beliefs. I have to do a reality check with myself often and just be like, who gives a shit? If I ever do decide to come out and transition which is still very much in the air for obvious reasons... maybe I’ll still be a female, maybe I’ll be a woman, but I’ll be a woman that is on testosterone and everyone sees as a man and dates straight women. Like who even fucken cares if I would basically be a man anyway.

I’m still debating whether its worth transitioning or not even if I’ll never be biologically male. also I’m in a similar demographic to the type of female trans people who are identifying as male and regretting hrt later on, so maybe thatll be me. Who knows. that’s something I haven’t found peace with yet.

and bruuuuuh I get you so deep on the whole feeling like a man thing. like I’m having really low dysphoria right now and I can’t even remember what my severe dysphoria was like, I just know it wasn’t as concrete as “feeling like a man”. I literally am just a man, feeling like one doesn’t really make sense ig. also feel you on the attraction shame. Yes I’m a lesbian, or straight, or attracted to women or whatever but at the same time I feel a lot of shame. almost like I’m betraying my birth sex by wanting to fuck them. That got a little morbid lmfao.

anyway I struggle with the EXACT same shit you do. you arent alone. neither am I apparently haha

/r/FTMMen Thread