Being apart for 11 months is a long time to try to pick things up to where they were before you left in a matter of weeks. I know that if you are in the military there will be an expectation that you will have periods of seperation but I think they must take a toll on your relationship. Especially if you are already not really on the same page with your sexual desire. While you were away her way of coping might have been to shut down her libido - while you were thinking about the time you would have together and how you could make the most of it with sex. You are raring to go but maybe her desire needs to be rekindled by working on your emotional connection first. Do you have kids? You don't mention them but if you do she might have just got too weighed down by the 'Mom' role and finds it hard to snap out of it when you appear.
Also if you have been making it obvious that the thing you most want from here during your visit home is sex she might feel like you aren't missing HER (ie her companionship) but just missing SEX. Now to you it might be obvious that you have been missing SEX with HER, but I can imagine that if my husband had been away for a long time and our daily affection wasn't there I would find it difficult and too full on to jump straight into honeymoon sex.
It sounds like you have bigger problems too and perhaps different expectations of what a healthy/happy sex life would look like. It doesn't sound like she is compromising but expecting you too. If she has a low libido she might find it difficult to see where you are coming from. I understand she doesn't like oral but in a loving relationship there is often a middle ground to be found. Either do it occassionally despite not getting much out of it yourself, or finding a way to do it which is more appealing. 69 for example where both parties are getting pleasure at the same time.
Perhaps she is depressed? Perhaps she wants you to leave the military and feels like she is unhappy and doesn't have enough control over her life? Maybe she sees you walking in and out of it and when you are around you make demands on her (normal sexual expectations) but she doesn't see her wishes being met.
If you don't have children maybe she wants them? Or maybe she just doesn't like sex much and it suits her for you to be away a lot?
You need to do lots of talking to her to get to the root of it. It's normal to want to have sex with your wife but the pressure of a reunion after 11 months might make your expectations of a lusty homecoming a bit hard for her to live up to.