ok i am an introvert + plus have a dgree of social anxiety and that is contradicted by the fact I am in an industry where my career is heavily reliant on dealing with customers and contractors daily. There is nothing that causes me anxiety more than having to pick up the phone and deal with an issue. The only way around this which works most times but not always is to analyze the hell out of the situation to the point where their wont be a discussion about it or push back - most people i find like to push back but that mostly occurs in my mind. The funny thing is while most people dread public speaking - I am great at it - i would prefer it actually than to one on one interaction especially if i have time to prepare a presentation - the planning is what builds me up. The biggest problem that I do have is my normal relationships - mainly romantic ones. People I am generally attracted to and date are "goers" and are always on the move and love to be in big groups. This helps me to get out of my shell sometimes but if they are always on the go they cannot understand why I get so drained. I hate it a lot of times because I irrationally just don't like a lof people based on a general vibe I get while my "goer" friends seem oblivious to douchebags that often pop up. My last relationship had a lot of tension because I just could not feel good after a constant pull to be out - I never was able to recharge. I never put much stock in a lot of the simplistic approaches to personality types but when it comes to being an introvert i can be one to a stereotypical fault. Most don't know because I have really gotten good at interacting with a wide range of personality types and on the surface I am very extroverted. On the inside I often am screaming inside and want to retreat after more than a day without decompressing. I can party all night, meet new people once i get out and generally am a fun loving guy but when the drain starts to sink in I become miserable, social anxiety kicks in and I become recluse - and my friends, parents and people i am dating don't know why they just think i am depressed. Sure I get depressed on occasion but mostly I just like to withdraw, live in my head and escape.

Living in my head also has it's ups and downs - it can be a very very dark place to walk around and I need to learn to close the doors that open in my mind - if i can do that i have a chance of faking normal for a bit. This meme kinda sorta reflects one of my problems in the social anxiety spectrum - one i wish to fix eventually as it is difficult to jump heaflong into "calling" someone. If it is in person I can do it all day long generally but picking up the phone to say bust balls - nope - i mean i CAN do it but it is way more fearful than public speaking at least for me. Can any psych doc explain why this is? I probably definitely need to schedule an apointment here soon but want to kinda know out of curiousity why I can be very much more dominant in real life than on the phone when it seems it is the opposite for most.