That's part of why I get frustrated with some of the discussions we've had along the way. The arguments that we either did it wrong, didn't understand the core mission of the org or were somehow defective in character simply don't hold water.

I know that Blanche and Cultalert (whom I know fairly well by this point in time) were in SGI for several decades each. They gave it their all . . . complete dedication . . . blood, sweat and tears. They achieved fairly high levels of leadership. I was the same sort of dedicated member, but only in for seven and was appointed a group leader. By all measures, we were solid, outstanding members. We did our daily gongyo, we attended the meetings and we were trusted by the organization to give members the appropriate guidance. Apparently SGI thought we were pretty okay, too.

I can't speak to their experience when they were making the decision to leave, but I can talk about mine. It was rough. I had completely adapted my life to being a good member; I'd been proud of it. In the numerous times I moved during the time I was a member, the first consideration was whether my new home would have a proper place for my altar. Could I accommodate meetings? The first thing I did after moving (which I did four times during the time I was a member) was to contact the kaikan to find out what district I was in and get in touch with the WD leader. The second thing I did was to start attending meetings as soon as possible. I was always an eager participant; I prepared for every study and discussion meeting. I had meetings in my home. I did everything possible to live up to the organization's expectations of me. All of my friends were "friends in faith." "Soka Sisters." I wasn't a perfect bot, but I tried as hard as I possibly could.

The organization failed and betrayed me, not the other way around. It failed and betrayed every single person who left because they started seeing the greed, lies and hypocrisy. And it fails and betrays those who continue to cling to the idea that it's anything but a massive money-making operation.