So I had to actually research how to gracefully get thrown out. I thought faking mental illness must be a good idea. As such, I began to sanitize the entire Oval Office, that was when I noticed the weird plastic shapes which were hidden. I ripped them out and went on to report them to the secret service. I was assured that these were just normal, they were something housekeeping installs to keep the room easier to clean (theyare stuffed into hard to clean places to prevent dust from accumulating there). On the next morning, I saw them there again. Again, I cleaned and removed them. Removing perfectly acceptable and even useful objects day after day must seem crazy. Especially as I stomped onto them violently. Later that day, when they believed me out of earshot, I heard people wonder about my emotional state, which was just what I needed. But then, in the next sentence, that person mentioned that "that idiot Siqang trampled every bug we placed in the Oval Office. If we know that he was insane, but there is no indication of him developping OCD!"

Now, no one calls me an idiot and gets away with it. Ain't gonna happen. I ran to that person (an intern) and slapped him, once, twice, three times, he tried to react and his accomplice wanted a piece of the action as well, and soon it turned into a full-on brawl. Now, I have a history of bar fights, but I am a much worse fighter when sober, still, I kept at it until people had to drag us away from each other. The next day, the attempt to become President OCD backfired and instead I became the president who beat up a two Russian spies himself with his bare hands and discovered a conspiracy up to the highest levels of the secret service. Heads literally rolled for this one as treason is one of the things there is capital punishment for on federal level. I kept the OCD habits up and dialed them up some more, but now, everyone deemed them justified and no one complained even if I repeated an action several times until it "felt good".

The next step towards impeachment was drug politics. It seemed to be one of the things everyone but the worst anarchists can agree one: drugs are bad, k? As such, I legalized every single drug on the list of controlled substances by an executive order. To get the hippie-types off my approval rating, I argued that God had given us every plant on earth to use and not being able to follow this law was religious discrimination which I was eager to remove. I had forgotten about the post-millenials and millenials, who pretty much logged out of politics completely and generally disapproved every government agency. The amount of disaffected young people I brought onto my side with that measure was so high, that my approval rating actually rose.

I realized that if I really wanted to be unpopular, I had to do something else. I thought of doing a Bill Clinton, but as a staunch asexual, who is quite disgusted by the act of reproduction, I just couldn't get myself to. And that one time I tried to make a Dubya by intentionally confusing Slovenia and Slovakia in a speech, I later found out that my speechwriter had confused them. I even tried to intentionally offend foreign heads of state, but it turned out that Türkmenbashi understood the intended insult as a highbrow reference to turkmenistani literature. I decided to start a war. Against Mali. Not out of any particular interest in the Malinese, but because such a war would seem particularly pointless and would hopefully not cost too many American lives (I am a slacker, not a psychopath, you know). It worked in bringing my approval rating down and making people question my sanity. That was until proof was found that there actually had been a Malinese program to develop chemical weapons.