Nuances are hard for you to grasp. Everything has to be white or black. True or wrong. There's no place for shades of grey in your world view. That makes you so angry that you have to swear constantly when you communicate. Flash news: it does not make you more or less correct/right/eloquent, you just get across as a tiny individual flailing in the dark.
The populations of those countries aren't necessarily in line with their government. An atheist/pro-choice/gay/colored person trying to live in Texas or in Iran will face challenges on both sides (and in plenty of under-developed countries). To me, that's disgusting because those challenges don't exist in my current developed country. I personally feel more safe and less out-of-place in a trip to Cuba than in one to Texas, even though Cuba was on the Terrorist Country list since 1982 until last year. So my point is simple: facts on the ground are not as they seem on paper.
I also don't "have to search to find" as you insinuate: it's delivered straight to me daily by actual people I directly know. Some of the stories they lived through, while in the USA, are sickening. For example, the brother of a friend got shot and left for dead on the front lawn of a person who thought he was sneaking around. The owner/shooter eventually called the authority, but not before waiting 45 minutes to make sure he had done all he could to let the guy drain out of blood in his yard first. Another guy I know had to pretend to be straight so that he wouldn't get bullied by his American colleagues, during his grad school field experiment years.
You also have more chances to end up in prison in the USA than in Iran, statistically speaking. What is that fun stat again, 5% of the world pop but 25% of the jailed pop? But they all deserved it, right?
Did they ever charge all of the Guantanamo prisoners with crimes, at the very least? Did COINTELPRO operations ever harm/lead to arrests of African-American-rights militants? What about Native-rights militants, or "pinko commies" and socialists, they had it easy too, right? Face it: if you're an American trying to support the rights of minorities, or people in Cuba, Palestine, or the -stans, historically you're suspicious and a target (there's a study on the topic from Harvard, btw). In Iran, you know first-hand that it is politically repressive as well. Similitudes...
As for your main point, the severity of the situation in Iran: I'm not saying that Iran is currently a very nice place to live, far from it. But the USA isn't that incredibly advanced, all things considered. Had the USA received a genocide-level chemical-warfare on it's population instead of Iran, you would certainly be making a different speech right now. That level of disruption clearly damaged their social fabric and it also strengthened the wild claims of the leaders that it was them against the world. Patriotism and religious zealotry both sell, as you can see from USA's pledge of allegiance change with the "under God" addition in 1954. These things are all related: today's events don't happen in a vacuum.
Meanwhile, the USA turns a blind eye on their Saudi allies that are murdering their political prisoners while buying luxury items, and dropping barrel bombs on civilians in Yemen. Black and white, shades of grey...