Iraqi media says ISIS militants have contracted Ebola

for conspiracy fantasy fans:



On [DATE] two ISIS agents, DAVID PIERCE (British) and FAJR KHOURI (Syrian), left Iraq with a large sum of cash (USD) in a well-equipped off-road military vehicle across the headed towards West Africa. Posing as doctors they traveled from Cairo to Algiers and then to Lagos, Nigeria where they attempted (unsuccessfully) to obtain samples of the virus from First Consultants Hospital and later from the homes of two deceased Ebola victims.

Unable to find any viable remnant of the virus, they traveled west towards Dakar, Senegal. Contact was lost for some days with the two agents finally reappearing in Conarky, Guinea where they hired a local guide who took them south to the village of N’zenie next to the Liberian border where a small Ebola treatment center had been erected. Again posing as doctors, the two men were able to breach the quarantine zone where KHOURI was able to deliberately infect himself with the virus.

As KHOURI incubated the virus within himself the two men traveled over the next many days to N’Djamena, Chad where he would travel on to San Francisco, Ca. Before they reached the airport, however, KHOURI had succumbed to the virus to the point of being unable to travel further and was left to die on the side of a highway. His body was recovered outside the town of Dikwa, Nigeria approximately 50 km from the Cameroon border. Initial autopsy confirms that he was infected with Ebola, though his death was primarily due to complications due to exposure. After KHOURI’s death PIERCE took a number of blood and mucous samples, in addition to deliberately infecting himself as well.

PIERCE successfully arrived in America on [DATE], and booked a hotel room in the Westin Hotel where he stayed for one night. Upon arriving, he took samples of his own blood which he mixed into McDonald’s hamburgers and Del Taco burritos, which he distributed widely to the local homeless population. The following morning PIERCE took a chartered flight, to Austin, Texas. Shortly upon arriving he hired a private limousine service to take him to Four Seasons Hotel. The driver recalled that PIERCE appeared visibly ill, and was speaking in an agitated manner in an unknown language on a cell phone. After exiting the car he did not check into the hotel, all contact with the subject was lost, and his current whereabouts are unknown.

Cell tower records indicate the last call made from the device PIERCE was believed to be carrying was to an internal line at the Travis County Republican Party offices. At the time of this particular call, the party’s office was closed and no official staff were present, but there are other offices in the same building that may have been open. Upon investigation, it appears that some party named DAVID PIERCE has donated large sums of money to every congressional GOP candidate in United States over the last eight months. It is believed that PIERCE may have been intending to infect congressional members via intentionally contagious contact, but has succumbed to the illness before such contact could be established.

It is unknown at this time if PIERCE is still alive and attempting to infect others with Ebola, or if he has succumb to the disease himself. It has been 36 hours since last contact, though it is presumed that he could not have remained hidden in his present condition without assistance. It is believed that he may be in an ISIS sympathizer's home somewhere in Austin or Houston, Texas. While likely unable to continue the attack himself due to the debilitating effects of the virus, his body will continue to act as an incubator and source of the infection.

It is advised to initiate FAIR OFFER protocols immediately before further hostile action can be taken.


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