I've [22m] never loved someone as much as i love her [21f] but im not sure whats happening. Is the honeymoon phase over or are we falling out?

This will sound patronizing, but I promise you it is not.

You are not in love. You really, really aren't. I don't know you and you have given remarkably little detail about it (and for good reason), but I promise you from the bottom of my heart that you are not.

I do not mean to diminish what is undoubtedly a remarkable and breathtaking and limb-melting emotion--one of those small but intense sensations where all the chemicals and electricity in your body makes everything hum in you and you literally want to drink up all of the person you are with. It's a beautiful and near-compelling thing that, while not nearly as rare as you might think (most people have that feeling many times in their life), is special and deserves your care and attention and wonder. Frankly, what you are feeling now is one of those things that make all of life worthwhile, and one that I am very happy you have because I have been exceedingly lucky in my life to have it. Nonetheless, believe me when I say that what you are feeling now cannot even be remotely described as love in any real or lasting sense.

Two months is not enough to really know anything about a person whatsoever. Two months is not enough time to know anything more than some rudimentary things about them that do not bear at all on whether they are good for you. Frankly, I'd argue that you don't really know about a person UNTIL this feeling relents a bit, because until it does, all you really know is that your body wants them. And there is nothing wrong with the feeling fading, because only when the feeling fades a bit do you really have the chance to get to know her, without rose-tinted goggles muddling your perspective.

I imagine you and this woman have incredible physical chemistry. You likely find each other beautiful. Perhaps you have many frivolous things in common (books, music, genres of pornography). You may even have some more fundamental compatibilities (similar backgrounds, values, etc.)--though there is no real way to know if this is true, since people's stated principles and the ones they actually live by are almost always different, and it takes a LONG time with that person to know the difference. In any case, two months is not ANYWHERE NEAR enough time to fall "in love", let alone "love someone to bits." There are a lot of words for what you feel for her right now (lust, Eros, passion, ardor, the "first flush", the "honeymoon period"), but to call it love is to make a mockery of the whole concept. I promise you that the feeling you are feeling right now could just as easily happen with someone who is absolutely terrible for you as with someone who is your perfect mate. Your feeling is very real, and it deserves to be reveled in, but you need to relax a bit. Let it all happen. You are just getting to know her, and if she turns out to be amazing, the process of unearthing her inner beauty is, I promise you, far more rewarding and life-changing than whatever petty intensity you are feeling now.

You are very, very young. Enjoy this feeling. Try not to be an idiot about it. Try to gain some perspective and know that, if she is a good woman who treats you well, you will get to something like love with her--and if she isn't, it may get complicated and heart-wrecking. In either case, be careful. Enjoy the feeling. Enjoy the losing of it too, because there is a very good reason these emotional highs are temporary. If they lasted forever we wouldn't bother attending to anything else.

tl;dr: Relax, dude. Enjoy it. Nothing is wrong.

/r/relationships Thread