There wasn't a moment that triggered the mindset, but one day things just kind of changed. I woke up. I realized I had been coasting my whole life and I was ready to get in the game. I wanted to achieve everything I wanted but I knew things had to change. There was a night, just after Christmas last year, where I was talking to my best friend about what I was feeling. I told him, "I'm ready to go out and do something in the world. I want to make my parents proud and I want to go fuck up things beautifully." I had been thinking about getting rid of my truck because it wasn't what I needed anymore. I couldn't get rid of it until graduation per an agreement with my parents, so I felt somewhat trapped in the situation; something else we discussed.

The very next day, that truck was totaled by an 18-wheeler.

I've been recovering from severe muscle spasms the last 6 months and I finally got back to the right attitude just last week. I'm excited for my future again, and I spend 3 hours on Skype with a different friend talking about all the different things I had been feeling. It was very similar to the first conversation I had. The next morning after that conversation, just yesterday morning, in fact, the new car I'd gotten after the first wreck was totaled in another. At this point, I'm done. I'm in a no-fucks-given, get-shit-done attitude. I've had it described to me as a cold, determined energy. I'm not letting anything stop me this time because I wasted too much time the first go-around. I start my final and most difficult semester at university in a month and I'm in attack mode, because I'm too determined to let something like this break me again.