I totally get that! Food is an addiction I've been saying that for years, but my mom did a lot to perpetuate that. She has a LOT of addictions herself. As a child not knowing I'm being manipulated it takes a while to break that and step up and out and take control. Like I said I didn't know how calories worked until this last year, so taking responsibility for my eating habits took a lot of time and self reflection. My point in my post was to say that since I've started my journey I've worried that my daughter would be in my same position one day needing to lose 80-100 pounds because of her eating habits. But now I know that I can I teach her better, I can help her know how food actually works so she can make decisions for herself and come out as an adult with knowledge and control and empowerment over her body and life with food. We don't have to be a slave to our cravings we can be taught to be healthy with food.

As for not cutting out my mom from my life, as soon as I moved out my relationship with both my parents got better. It still sucks because they are narcissistic and I've just began to realize they aren't going to change. I have two children who love both my parents dearly and it would kill them to go no contact with my parents. They treat my kids much different then they treated me. My mom is sober now which does help. However this last year has taught me a lot about myself and what I'm capable of and what I need to put up with. I'm in control of my life and the decisions I make and so is everyone else. I'm just going to do the best I can to guide my children that I can.

Everyone is capable of making their own decisions in life they just have to figure out what that means for them.