A lot of people have to experience addiction or seeing a family member go through it to sympathize. These people are just that. They're people. I started using years ago because it let me escape from reality and feel pure joy and bliss for a change. I was able to do presentations in class and not have crippling anxiety so it just made sense. I was still the same depressed and emotionally crippled human being but now under even more stress due to satisfying my addiction and dealing with the daily routine. Not knowing if I was going to get stuck up, robbed, or have some dumbass who doesn't know their limits overdose today or where my money was coming from.

All I wanted was help and understanding, and my parents were the source of that and where my strength came from. Not everybody has that. Not everybody is paranoid and planned every part of their day out to avoid most risks. The people would get arrested, go through withdrawal and be miserable while wanting to die. A few weeks, months, years would pass and they'd get out only to start right back up again doing anything possible to get around their parole drug checks. Obviously that helped.

This subject means a lot to me because I recently had a close family member kill herself because she knew she was going to go back to prison when she went to her parole appointment. She laid her id and parole appointment card and the date of the appointment she missed circled on it when she killed herself. She knew she would have died in prison. I was the only one that accepted her, called her, and spent time with her. Her own kids abandoned her and everybody viewed her as a piece of shit. I can't believe how hard it was to lose her.