Honestly, the job I have right now. I manage a satellite office for a small supply company in a different than the main.
My job duties:
Find private contractors to install and maintain the products we carry.
Oversee the work they do and QC.
Stock and keep inventory of said product in the warehouse.
Clean and keep general maintenance at warehouse and office location.
Interface with our customers.
Listen to their concerns and be the face they associate with the company.
Organize events with our customers and forge relationships with their parent companies.
Develop new business relationships and grow our network in this new area for our company.
Keep the owner of the company update with all the goings without pestering him with too much information.
I could actually go on but its bumming me out. I started feeling tired just writing that.
The scheduling and constant juggling of tasks and managing people, carrying out requests from my boss was something that my unmedicated and sort of undiagnosed brain could handle. Too many times I would go into damage control, constantly telling myself I can get it back, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Here's the deal. I started under-qualified for the position. I came in with no experience in any of my roles and my training consisted of picking up tricks to recover from my countless mistakes, mishaps, and explosive blow ups of problems created either by me, or unreliable workers, or customer problems. I made a lot of mistakes in the last three years and in an effort to try to prove to myself I could do it, I stuck with the job. I grew depressed and my relationships with my clients devolved into seeing them intermittently.
I've only been on medication for almost 2 months. Since then I've been able to steer my life back around in almost every way that was going south, except for my job. I have so many bad memories and I still feel a little sick when I think about my work.
I have had opportunities to go into entry level positions for careers I am interested in, but I've passed them down out of a sense of duty. I've asked my boss to find someone else to fill my position numerous times, and yet I commit to helping until they find the right candidate. While shouldering large debt from medical bills and long drawn out unpaid tickets, I look forward to the measly paycheck I get in the mail once a month. Lately I've been able to manage my money, but even now that I have medication, its hard to be excited to be doing all of this for $11.00 an hour.
I've been putting all of my spare time into making music, playing video games, and spending time building experiences and plans for the future with my wonderful girlfriend.
Yeesh, this really kinda turned into a long post that took a direction I didn't expect before writing. Very venty of me. I'm frustrated, you know? I better go to bed. Gotta get up early for work.