I've been in his life since the day he was born. Up until the last several months I have done everything in my capacity to be accepting and understanding to our situation, I am beyond the point of tolerating what I know to be normal and age appropriate versus just looking for something to bitch about.

He knew what he did, I didn't make it clear that in the conversation between him and my husband his reasoning when said and done was he did it because he didn't want her to go out the front door. As I stated there are several issues with him that just go out right unacknoledge between his father and monther and THAT is why I feel the way I do. No mater how hard I try to work with the situation as it stands there is no accountability for this child. I don't expect him to be a saint, do everything perfect nor remind him and teach him how to do one thing or another - I was the one who got him off the bottle at 4 and finally got him to use the toilet, I taught him how to put his shoes on the right feet. Versus EVERYONE else doing everything for him, even though my husband agrees that he should be more independent than he is he won't say anything to his mother and just says he'd rather do it to keep the peace and because we only have to do it a few days out of the month.

This is just my breaking point, I love this child and have always tried to make things even across the board but I am beginning to grow resentful. I recognize this and don't want to feel this way but as it stands I have 0 say but both my husband and his mother expect me - even her BM husband - to play equal part to accommodate physical responsibilities but no say otherwise. I want to tell his mother hey your son pushed my daughter down the stairs but I can't, I want to say any time his dad or I confront him about bad behavior he just stares at us blankly but I can't. If I could MAYBE just maybe something would change, maybe she would be aware that he's not perfect in his eyes. Every day simple request are met with my mom does this, I don't have to do that so-and-so does it for me, no one makes me do this my self. This is an issue between my husband and I too since it's just as much his fault as it is hers and until I can get him to say something anything I have to say isn't worth while. My girls drive me bonkers, they do wrong and I remind them everyday to do something and I know they're kids - I'm not perfect either and I'm at my wits end, to me the line is when I feel as though despite the boundaries already set between my stepson and the baby I can't trust him to know that ANY type of behavior is inappropriate or dangerous because he has 0 responsibility/accountability. He by all accounts is an only child and when he's with us forgets what it is he's been exposed to or been taught over the last solid 3 years.