I was raised in a prudish home and when I read Lord of the Rings any romance was very clandestine to me. So I thought that was how you could do it. A lot implied but little internalization for the characters.

Now, writing my own epic fantasy, I find being more open and explicit in the character’s feelings and the tension between each other to be cathartic for me. I was terrified to write it but found it came easily and naturally. Finding the honesty in it was probably the hardest part for someone raised on euphemism and all-our avoidance of relationship discussion.

I don’t know why romance (not sex specifically) would be an afterthought or disregarded altogether. Honestly, though I write fantasy, my reading interests have gravitated away from it in recent years. I haven’t noticed this phenomenon.

I just listened to an interview with George RR Martin and he talked about death in his novels because it’s a part of life. Particularly where war is a big part of life. And romance IS a huge part of life. It’s one of the best and worst parts.

Now, Patrick Rothfuss had a woman approach him after The Wise Man’s Fear came out and scold him for ruining the story with sex and romance (if you want to call it that). She was convinced that the way he handled what amounted to flirtation only in The Name of the Wind was how it should be and the extent of how far anything should go. His answer was that Kvothe was growing up and that romance and sex were naturally a growing interest for him. His parents had a sweet romance in book one. But maybe the more vocal fans are inadvertently scaring writers away. Again, I’ve not read new fantasy in five years.