I really disagree that it’s an unspoken pass on their behavior. I had a friend who was extremely homophobic when we were younger and I made it clear to him I didn’t agree with his views. I figured out later it was due to some certain trauma in his life and we talked about it and he was able to overcome it. We still do not agree on many things politically but we both know where eachother stand. Obviously you need to step in when they’re doing some really awful shit but I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if I dumped him as a friend right then. there was an underlying reason he had that view and we were able to talk about it and able to get him to understand he was being unreasonable.