I've spent the last two days writing my suicide note.

currently me. i have no one to express this to but this forum, for fear of alarming family. I’m a few days in and my suicide note is starting to look like a suicide book. i feel like i don’t want to leave anything un-said. i’ve already given them enough pain i don’t want to leave with them questioning why and to reassure them that there is nothing they could’ve done more or less of to help. it was all self inflicted. i’ve deactivated all social media and saved some of my favourite memories to my camera roll. it all seems extremely overboard but i hope to leave them with a bit of closure. its the least i could do. I’ve had depression on and off (mostly on) for 10yrs now (currently 26yrs old as of yesterday) from high functioning depression to now extremely severe depression. I’ve only been suicidal within the last couple years and have made, id say pathetic, attempts but also while intoxicated. but this time it just feels right. I had previously thought maybe it was the liquid courage urging me to do it but at this moment i am completely sober and it’s a hauntingly comfortable feeling that i’m at the end of my journey. i’m not distraught or in fear. i’m content, i’m… happy. and thats the scary part.

in saying all this i came on here looking for answers but in writing all this I’ve come to realise i’ve answered my own questions. :)

/r/TrueOffMyChest Thread