I can't imagine the pain you are going through but I can empathise with your situation. It almost seems like you are going to college to prove to the world that you are worth something. But what you don't realise is that you are worth something even if you don't go to college. Your parents perspective of you won't change just because you get a piece of paper, they are the ones who are sick not you. For you to change their perspective is for you to relive their whole lives for them and that isn't possible. I've created a sub-reddit to help with regulating your emotions naturally and it also has resources that will help you understand the processing of stress https://www.reddit.com/r/Emotional_Regulation/ I hope that you truly feel better about your situation, and I hope that I can bring you some hope in this time of distress :)